Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers
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- Create Date：2021-10-12 06:54:32
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：Karyl McBride
- ISBN：1439129436
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Reviews
Rukia Hunter
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Exceptionally well written， detailed， and compassionate。 Thank you。
Jane
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If you're a woman that has ever felt not good enough and struggled in adult life and relationships then this book is a good read as perhaps it stems from a narcissistic upbringing。 Narcissism is a spectrum with varying degrees and it is passed down from generation to generation。 This book deals with narcissism in women especially mothers。 The author used real life examples from her practice and I found it very helpful。 If you're a woman that has ever felt not good enough and struggled in adult life and relationships then this book is a good read as perhaps it stems from a narcissistic upbringing。 Narcissism is a spectrum with varying degrees and it is passed down from generation to generation。 This book deals with narcissism in women especially mothers。 The author used real life examples from her practice and I found it very helpful。 。。。more
Sarah B
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So I have been reading this book。。。 I have known for many years my mother and grandmother were narcissists。 And this book certainly verifies it。 I have checked off all of the traits that the book lists that applies to them， especially to my mother。 And I have certainly identified myself in here， in the type of reactions I get。 Because there are different ways a daughter of a narcissist can react。 Maybe I wasn't familiar with the exact terms the author used but the descriptions were good。。。Still So I have been reading this book。。。 I have known for many years my mother and grandmother were narcissists。 And this book certainly verifies it。 I have checked off all of the traits that the book lists that applies to them， especially to my mother。 And I have certainly identified myself in here， in the type of reactions I get。 Because there are different ways a daughter of a narcissist can react。 Maybe I wasn't familiar with the exact terms the author used but the descriptions were good。。。Still I found I could not relate to many of the examples the author gave in here。 It's almost impossible to relate to things you have never done or experienced。 That did affect my reading of the book big time。 But I was willing to overlook that。。。but I often felt I was reading about a foreign world。 I felt very disconnected。 Not all narcissistic mothers are the same。 They may have the same traits but different。。。 Lifestyles？ Mine was never into the whole "showing off with clothes and stuff"。 Still she had checked off almost all of the narcissistic traits near the beginning of the book！ Where I ran into a real problem is in the third part of the book。。。the bit that is supposed to be about the healing。 Like it says you have to process the trauma。。。to actually feel it and not just talk or write about it。 But how do you actually DO that？？ I mean most of the time I seem to be either numb or flat。 On occasion horses can make me cry or if some incident overwhelmed me I will tear up briefly， but otherwise。。。 Nothing！ And even after reading this I don't really understand what I am supposed to do？ I can list all sorts of facts of what happened but I don't FEEL anything！ Is that due to the trauma or because I also have autism？ I don't know。 The book certainly does not mention autism at all。 But the book did give me a clearer idea of why some incidents seem to be triggers and make me very upset: it's triggering my PTSD。 I just didn't realize that is what it was （even though I am diagnosed with PTSD）。 I am going to give this to my one therapist to read with some notes。。。see if she can figure this out。 I know this is supposed to be a Self Help book but just realize you can run into a big road block。 But then realize that the very thing that makes me so flat and calm （emotionless？） most of the time is the very thing that horses like！ I do horse therapy and horses favor calm， flat people。 So if you are reading this and if the trauma from your narcissistic mother left you calm and flat （and you feel just as stuck as I do in how to fix it） do realize you may be great with horses！ You could be the next horse whisperer！ So there is hope out there。。。hope on four legs， with a mane and tail and hooves！ 。。。more
Annik
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Today I want to talk about a book I have read in the past year。 The book I am talking about is ‘Will I ever be good enough’ by Karyl McBride， PHD。 It is written by a PhD who is specialized in family therapy。 I had serious troubles reading this book， as I often doubted statements given by the author。 I often experienced a type of generalization and stigma that the therapist has against her patients。 The book officially deals about daughters that grew up with a narcissistic mother and therefore ha Today I want to talk about a book I have read in the past year。 The book I am talking about is ‘Will I ever be good enough’ by Karyl McBride， PHD。 It is written by a PhD who is specialized in family therapy。 I had serious troubles reading this book， as I often doubted statements given by the author。 I often experienced a type of generalization and stigma that the therapist has against her patients。 The book officially deals about daughters that grew up with a narcissistic mother and therefore have certain toxic patterns in adulthood。 The following quote put me off:‘Don’t listen to others as you go through this process。 Well-meaning friends and loved ones often say things like “Forget it already。” “You can’t undo the past- quit trying。” “Quit thinking about the past and be in the present。” Those closest to you （and some not so close） will discourage you from doing this important work because they do not understand just how important it is。 They may not want to see you suffer， so they try to fix it。 They don’t understand that if you don’t face this sadness， it will remain part of you forever。 Do not listen to this unqualified advice。 This is precisely why so many people today are projecting their feelings， misbehaving， creating crises for themselves and others， suffering from depression and anxiety， and are not being accountable for their own actions and emotions- they’re not facing the truth about their own pain。 I am giving you， from personal and professional experience， the “key” to working through…’ （McBride， 2008， p。148）There are three things that I find dangerous about this quote。 The first problem that I see， is that the author indirectly states that people that have depression or anxiety are responsible for their mental illness themselves， as they did not face their trauma and pain earlier。 This is in direct contrast to scientific findings that state that depression and anxiety also have biological factors originating in the brain。 This quote puts an individual with depression in a position of being blamed for their depression。 I do not promote this kind of ‘victim-blaming’ and find it dangerous to state this belief without proper explanations of other factors that contribute to depression。 This quote might look insightful and wise， but in my opinion， this quote might be harmful to read by a depressed individual that faces self-hate。 The second problem I have with this quote is that the author does not encourage the individual to speak with friends and loved ones about their problems， as she states that they will be not trustworthy， and she assumes how they will react。 In fact， for a depressed individual， it is super important to open up to friends and family and I find this statement is discouraging individuals from doing so。My last difficulty with this is that McBride does not encourage the individual to seek professional help and promotes her own ‘key’ to solve this。 A person that suffers from severe depression should be offered more opportunities than a promoted method that she invented herself。Those statements， I have sent to my clinical psychology supervisor and we discussed points of this book in class， coming all to the conclusion that some quotes in this book can actually cause more harm than psychological well-being in individuals。 Therefore， I would not recommend this book。 。。。more
Sasha
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A very practical guide on how to heal from a childhood trauma caused by a narc mum， how to deal with said mum and how not to be like her。 The read is easy， the recommended work is hard - but worthwhile。
Milena Machado
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Ler esse livro foi doloroso， mas ao mesmo tempo， revelador。 Eu me senti em uma sessão de terapia， e quando o livro acabou， me deu uma tristeza porque me apeguei a escrita da autora e também porque me sentia compreendida por ela。
Pia Rosenkilde
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Will I ever be good enough by Karyl Mcbride PhD ⭐️⭐️⭐️ ~ 🎧This book deals with the issues and insecurities from being the daughter of a narcissistic mother。 I'm not sure what my mother's diagnosis would be had she ever been diagnosed， but I know that I have deep scars and trouble adjusting to life because of it。 Because I have found it so hard in my life to be met by anybody who I felt understood me， it is such a relief to feel understood and met through literature。 I'm at a point in my life whe Will I ever be good enough by Karyl Mcbride PhD ⭐️⭐️⭐️ ~ 🎧This book deals with the issues and insecurities from being the daughter of a narcissistic mother。 I'm not sure what my mother's diagnosis would be had she ever been diagnosed， but I know that I have deep scars and trouble adjusting to life because of it。 Because I have found it so hard in my life to be met by anybody who I felt understood me， it is such a relief to feel understood and met through literature。 I'm at a point in my life where I'm really trying to heal and thus reading a lot about this subject and feel comfort knowing that there are others out there with broken families and scar tissue。 There were lots of familiar feelings in this but I found it hard to pinpoint exactly what I was supposed to do， except recognise it。 There were exercises but probably smart to read the hard copy as with an audiobook you do a mental note but then forget。 #willieverbegoodenough #karylmcbride 。。。more
tia
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i'm ngl i skimmed most of the end but i also felt like i knew most of the stuff in this book already。 i think it would be good for someone who was just discovering that maybe their mom wasn't the most nurturing during their childhood but i've already done a lot of that thinking。 i'm ngl i skimmed most of the end but i also felt like i knew most of the stuff in this book already。 i think it would be good for someone who was just discovering that maybe their mom wasn't the most nurturing during their childhood but i've already done a lot of that thinking。 。。。more
Heba El Saeid Mohammed
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It was so hard to read … but I recommend this to every girl out there … even if she had a normal and a loving mother so that she won’t be that mother to her kids one day …
Olga
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Однозначно книга потребує повільного， вдумливого читання разом з виконанням всіх завдань （подумати， написати і насамперед бути чесною в своїх думках）。 Також варто давати собі час між розділами， щоб прочитане краще «вклалось» в голові， а ще краще， якщо є можливість обговорити все це з психотерапевтом。 При чому останнє - не обов‘язкова умова， адже книга сама по собі помічна， якщо ви готові працювати над покращенням свого життя。
Rebecca
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An excellent book for anyone who has struggled to understand their complicated relationship with their mother。
Christina Copty
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A good overview for daughters of narcissistic mothers with a large portion devoted to healing
Jennifer Skeen
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It was as if the author knew me personally。 I highlighted so much in this book that most pages are pink。 This book is me and I needed it。
Sheila
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This book was really helpful。 It’s a high 4。5 star for me only because I do believe having a therapist， counselor or a medical profession accompany your recovery through this topic and or mental and emotional issues will increase your chances of a successful recovery。Part One I felt we are learning/understanding Narcissism。Part Two I felt we are gaining/understanding the traits and more in depth of how it affects us。 And Part Three is the recovery section。 I felt this book can be helpful to anyo This book was really helpful。 It’s a high 4。5 star for me only because I do believe having a therapist， counselor or a medical profession accompany your recovery through this topic and or mental and emotional issues will increase your chances of a successful recovery。Part One I felt we are learning/understanding Narcissism。Part Two I felt we are gaining/understanding the traits and more in depth of how it affects us。 And Part Three is the recovery section。 I felt this book can be helpful to anyone that desires to not be narcissistic not just mothers and daughters。I also feel that part three or the section on recovery can be helpful to anyone that has had trauma in their life。 Is the book a cure all？ No。 We have to do the work ourselves but I do believe it gives us a step in the right direction to become a better recovered person。 。。。more
Magda Brygała
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niektóre ''zadania'' uważam za niepotrzebne （np。 kolaż prawdziwej kobiety）。Poza tym， książka bardzo ważna， można w niej odnaleźć wiele z siebie。 niektóre ''zadania'' uważam za niepotrzebne （np。 kolaż prawdziwej kobiety）。Poza tym， książka bardzo ważna， można w niej odnaleźć wiele z siebie。 。。。more
Marah Abohamdan
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Best book to introduce readers who are interested in this subject。 The parts where women speak their memories with their narcissistic mother sometimes are hurtful。 I enjoyed reading the book and it encouraged me to know more about this subject。
Sarah
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After being in therapy for some years about this specific issue， none of these things were very new to me， but some were some good reminders。 Parts of the book brought up things I had processed through in therapy and were good reminders of my personal progress。 I might be interested in looking at some of the self discovery lists presented in the book， as I listened to this as an audiobook and did not actually read it。 I’m giving it two stars both for the reasons listed above but also because thi After being in therapy for some years about this specific issue， none of these things were very new to me， but some were some good reminders。 Parts of the book brought up things I had processed through in therapy and were good reminders of my personal progress。 I might be interested in looking at some of the self discovery lists presented in the book， as I listened to this as an audiobook and did not actually read it。 I’m giving it two stars both for the reasons listed above but also because this book is pretty heteronormative （yet also somehow still aware of being so？） and large portions of it devote itself to assuming the reader has desires to parent OR to become a parent。 Perhaps some things have changed since the publication of this book， but many adult children of narcissists （including myself） have made a conscious choice to not become parents。 I understand there IS a need to discuss this very important topic， however this book presented motherhood as an inevitable and did not entertain or validate a child free choice。 It gives one the impression that the Doctor believes that becoming a mother oneself is a necessary step on the road to healing and recovery。 。。。more
Gabrieli
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As vezes sobreviver é cansativo， fez eu me sentir menos sozinha。
Coral Rose
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Some good information， deeply heteronormative almost complementarian。 "Take up a hobby like knitting or canning！" Some good information， deeply heteronormative almost complementarian。 "Take up a hobby like knitting or canning！" 。。。more
Katerina Czespivova
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This book heavily supported me on my journey to heal my mother-daughter relationship。
Maryam
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absolutely loved this book， as she showed me the pattern and what's wrong。 However， the healing might take a lifetime it's not as easy as reading a book， lower your expectations absolutely loved this book， as she showed me the pattern and what's wrong。 However， the healing might take a lifetime it's not as easy as reading a book， lower your expectations 。。。more
Macarena
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Este libro da las claves para reconocer a las madres narcisistas y a poder superar tanto el trato con ellas como， una vez que se sale de ahí， a superar esos rasgos narcisistas que han quedado en las hijas。 Recomiendo encarecidamente su lectura。
Nika
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[я постійно молюся， щоб гроші， які я відкладаю дітям на навчання， не пішли врешті-решт на їхню психотерапію]книга прекрасна， бо ж є таким першим поінтом на шляху до усвідомлення， що це не з вами щось не так💔 і болісне дитинство не ваша відповідальність。 чудово структурований наратив з історіями инших і власне з практичними порадами， що з цим всім робити。 так， минулого не змінити， але саме зараз є шанс на краще життя， якщо ви відчуваєте химерну постать за спиною， яка несвідомо визначає ваші погля [я постійно молюся， щоб гроші， які я відкладаю дітям на навчання， не пішли врешті-решт на їхню психотерапію]книга прекрасна， бо ж є таким першим поінтом на шляху до усвідомлення， що це не з вами щось не так💔 і болісне дитинство не ваша відповідальність。 чудово структурований наратив з історіями инших і власне з практичними порадами， що з цим всім робити。 так， минулого не змінити， але саме зараз є шанс на краще життя， якщо ви відчуваєте химерну постать за спиною， яка несвідомо визначає ваші погляди та самосприйняття💔найкраще цю книгу пропрацювувати паралельно з терапією - ефекту， як на мене， буде більше。 。。。more
Sandk elkassar
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The book mentioned so many things to clarify if you had narcissistic parent。。。 But unlike most of the psychology books I read it also gives you the solutionOne of the best
Hanani
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The amount of tears I shed over the book is surreal。 This book has touched me where I thought it could never because I have gotten so used to just bury and bottle up feelings。 But it did。 The author made it so easy to read and so many stories shared that I could relate to。 For once， it made me feel I wasn't alone with this trauma。 The amount of tears I shed over the book is surreal。 This book has touched me where I thought it could never because I have gotten so used to just bury and bottle up feelings。 But it did。 The author made it so easy to read and so many stories shared that I could relate to。 For once， it made me feel I wasn't alone with this trauma。 。。。more
Zöe
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I have two words: thank you ！
Ember Carroll
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I didn't like that the author is essentially forcing the reader to forgive their mother for abuse and neglect。 Other than that， a decent read。 I much prefer Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents。 I didn't like that the author is essentially forcing the reader to forgive their mother for abuse and neglect。 Other than that， a decent read。 I much prefer Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents。 。。。more
Cath
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An excellent read with a great process to recovery。 This book should be read along with “adult children of emotionally immature parents”。 IMHO， the two go hand in hand and both are necessary to understand the pain/trauma。
Lora
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Karyl brings personal experience and clinical expertise to a painful topic— healing the damage that is done when your mother is so wounded she’s incapable of loving you。 As a Clinical Psychologist， it is my number one go to when working with a daughter of a narcissistic mother。
Nashia Fife
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